Tampa Taxi Shots

TAMPA GONE WILD!

In fourteen years of driving a cab full-time, I have never seen the business or the city like this.  It is insane!  I mean no hyperbole.  It is insane.  The tires of my cab have not stopped in the last three days!  That has never happened.  Considering that we now have Bolsheviks running the White House, it was good to experience some good old style capitalism that would have made Adam Smith brim with pride. 

I have picked up Steeler fans, Cardinal fans (they showed up today in mass), strippers, and more party people than at a Winter Olympics, and I was run off the road by the Cardinal Bus caravan going to the Grand Hyatt on the Courtney causeway were the team is staying. 

Dale Mabry is insane, Ybor City is insane, Channelside is insane, people get out of your cab, and another group gets in and that continues all day long.  The money just flows!  I have and idea.  The NFL should have the Super Bowl in Tampa every year. 

Even the "Naked Cowboy" was in town.  I stopped in Ybor, and in my rear view mirror, I saw this handsome man playing a guitar with just his draws on.  You got to feel real good about your body to do that.

The Super Bowl parties are everywhere, and all the beautiful people are in attendance.  There is no way a little cab driver can keep up with, but I try.  This weekend I am the information booth.  Tell me where you want to go and I will take you.  If you need advice about Tampa and where to stay, eat dinner, go out, and so forth, I am your man.  I have helped many people, and I consider that part of my job. 

All the NFL owners are staying at the Marriot Waterside in downtown Tampa, and that has turned into a cluster fuck.  All the cabs were supposed to line up in the morgan street tunnel were the starters would load the next fare.  The hotel is barricaded to prevent a terrorist attack, so the people have to walk up to the cab area.  The problem is that not everyone fully understands this including the cab drivers.  So thay are running around and loading on the streets as people just walk up.  It is total caios.  I think it's a lot fun actually to see even the best laided plans go bad.

STEELER FANS INVADE TAMPA!

They are here like a rabid army!  Pittsburgh Steeler fans have invaded Tampa.  I worked 14 hours today and the wheels of my taxi never stopped moving.  I picked up Steelers all day and night.  Most of them don't even have tickets, they are just here to party and soak up what it means to be a loyal fan and have hope for your city, hope for your family, and revile in a tradition that last a lifetime. 

I have not seen one Cardinal fan, very bad on your part.  I was going to continue my tradition of pulling for the NFC Champion team in the Super Bowl, but not this time.  Not one soul is in this town from Arizona that I can see.  When the Bucs went to San Diego for our Super Bowl, we had about 10,000 fans that flew out there. 

I really believe that this game is a solid home game for Pittsburgh.  I don't even know if anyone in the stadium will be pulling for the Cardinals!   Seriously. 

HERE COME THE STEELERS!

I was waiting for one of my "specials" to finish her audition at the doll house.  She was an out of town dancer that has used me several time so far this week. (I have a few so far that call me, I guess its my chivalry they like).  While I was waiting two unmarked police cars blocked the east/west traffic on Cypress crossing Westshore.  At first, I wondered why, then south bound on Westshore I could see a police motorcade and several buses.  Since the AFC Champion Pittsburgh Steelers, who are playing in the Super Bowl here in Tampa, are staying at the Intercontinental Inn at Westhore and Kennedy, and it had been media day, I knew it had to be the football team. The batteries in my camera were very low so I could only get off one shot.  I had to crop it a little.

I felt like Abraham Zappurder standing on the side of the road shooting the motorcade.  I truly believed that someone would give me some shit aoubt being there because I was behind the policed off area.  They weren't letting anyone in the area. It worked out OK. 

STRIPPERS AND TAXI DRIVERS

The Tampa St. Pete Times had an article today about the strippers that will be coming to Tampa to make the big money.  Like Mickey Spillane said, "Women are attracted to money like maggots to dung."  The article was good in that it mentioned that the economy is down, and this event might not be like past football games.  They are right. But it gets worse.

The "house" fees for the out of town girls will be $200 at the Mons Venus. Not to bad if the buck is there, but I don't think it will.  Word on the streets is that bookings are down, even for many of the high profile parties.  Lets face it,  the real ballers and high rollers who used to throw the girls a C-Note for just being pretty, can't do right now. They own the companies that are going out of business that you read about every day.

Many cab drivers have fallen into this wishful thinking mindset.  I have heard drivers say that they expect to make between $20,000-$30,000 next week!  That is just not possible. One driver said his has been holding on for 8 months with no money made just to work this event.  How sad.

I think the event will be good, but not like the barnstormer that it could be in even a mediocre economy.  Lets get real, and just take what we get and be thankful. 

A NEEDLESS SOUL

At today's press briefing, when asked about President Obama’s plan to reverse a Bush policy related to abortion, Press Secretary Robert Gibbs dodged the question with a joke: “As a part of my overall career advancement, I've found it useful to get out of the way of the principal, who might be making news on certain subjects later on in the afternoon.” 

But the word is already out that Obama is expected to sign another executive order today, to end the Mexico City Policy (also known as the “global gag rule”). The policy bans federal funds from going to international health groups that provide, or talk to women about, abortions. Passed by George W. Bush in 2001 on his first day in office, it’s one more policy that Obama, with the stroke of a pen, can undo.

Dr. Ana Langer, president of the global health organization, EngenderHealth, said that the global gag rule has blocked health care in some of the world’s poorest countries. “Africa has been most severely affected,” she said. “Many clinics had to close because they declined to sign the global gag rule, and were not able to provide other services such as prenatal care, newborns’ health, cervical cancer screenings and vaccinations.” She cited Kenya, the homeland of Obama’s father, as one country where women lost their only sources of prenatal care for miles around after the policy passed.

Abortion is prenatal care?  Considering the uncertainty around Obama's mother and father's marital relationship, what if she were "counseled" in the way her son would want.  You know, with his arms, legs and guts being sucked down a drain.  Oh, also his brains.  Than the great one would have never existed.  Gee, I bet you never thought that one out.

AN ANNOUNCEMENT

I am still not sure how it happened, but I received a book deal.  I have a real book deal with an established publishing company in California called Coyote Canyon Press.  I was approached several months ago by them about the possibility of putting this together.

At first, I thought they were jerking my chain.  The publisher said he had been reading my blog for three years and had often left comments, in fact, he downloaded all of my entries on a computer.  He liked the style and edge of my writing and believed it could sell. 

I have tried to curb my enthusiasm.  I mean, these things can just fall apart.  This one has not. They sent me an advance, and when the check cleared, I knew it was for real!

I have submitted a 75,000 word manuscript for them to read.  It has been edited and they will send me a pdf file with instructions for further editing.  This is going to take time. That is ok.  I want to get this project right.  I want to be proud of this work. 

I have informed them that I won't be able to do much until after the Super Bowl, so they have agreed to wait until February 2nd to send the draft back.  I still believe there is much more to be done.  We are working on a release date about mid-summer. The book will be sold at Borders, Barnes and Noble and on Amazon.

Now, how cool is that!

SALVATION ARMY

Excerpt from my upcoming book TAMPA TAXI SHOTS (title pending) published by Coyote Canyon Press.  More on my real life book deal later. 

It was mid-afternoon on an otherwise banal Saturday when I got a call at a rundown motel. A women with her two children get into my cab and want to go to the Salvation Army. She seemed normal, and her kids were cute. In route she told me that she had fallen on hard times and her “old-man” had thrown her out with the kids. I try to believe her story, but we get lied to all the time, and I just keep driving. It really does not matter.

The Salvation Army has a separate building for homeless women with children. It is well hidden. I imagine many of these women came out of an abusive situation and they don’t want some pissed off man showing up and causing trouble. Therefore, for security reasons, it is nondescript.

We get there and she goes upstairs with her kids and says she will return with the money. After a few minutes, that little voice that every cab driver has starts to talk to me. My voice tells me that she is not coming back. She has scammed me. Swindled me in the worst way, by using her kids.

Some people think we are in a position to give free rides. Many drivers live in apartments and with the cab parked out front, this invites all kinds of people to knock on their door wanting a ride to wherever, but the people never offer to pay, or its just a partial payment. I have never understood this. We are not paid a salary or an hourly wage, we are paid on commission. In fact, WE pay to use the cab.

I lease my cab from my company on a 24 hour bases. I drive the cab everywhere I go; I even take it home with me. I am the only one that drives it. For that privilege, I pay $97 a day and have to buy my own gas. My “nut” is around $130-140 before I see a dime for myself.

Either people do not know this or they do not care. In either case, fares are constantly trying to beat the cab driver out of a fare. They will use bullshit stories and try to hang bad plastic on us all day long. This one young guy told me to talk to his dad on the phone so I would “feel better” about taking him out of town to Dade City (a $70 fare). His name was “Cory” and he swore his dads name was “Cody.” Sure it is pal.

When I was new in the business, I was a total greenhorn and I got beat constantly. The old Boxing manager Gill Clancy once said that a young fighter learns more in one fight than an entire month in the gym….the same with cab driving. You will learn to defend yourself quickly.

This time, I must of let my guard down.

I knocked on the door of the “Sally” with a video security camera pointed right at me. From that angle, they could probably see the cab because, to my surprise, somebody buzzed me in. The door opened to a stairwell and I went up to find a lady at a desk. I told her what had happened, and she went to find the lady who had beat me out of the fare.

She returned with the lady and one of her little kids was hanging onto her mothers leg, looking at me with a real sad look. Her mother said she was sorry, but she had no money, she had spent it all at the motel, and needed to get back to the “Sally.”

This is the point when cab drivers call the cops. She owed me $7.20 and I wanted my money. I could see it now, if the cops come she gets arrested and her kids become wards of the State and put into foster homes. Her little girl kept looking at me with pleading eyes.

I left without payment.

I went on to the next fare.

I promised myself long ago that I would never let this job rob me of my humanity. I could of called the cops, but I have to live with myself.

I am worth more than $7.20.

I get back in the cab and give my location to my dispatcher who has a downtown call on the board. We use a bidding system where the entire county is divided into zones. The drivers can check into each zone (we use stands during the day) and when the next call comes out in that zone, he will get the order.

The irony of all this is that the next call I get is at the Men’s Salvation Army Lodge, just down the street. The fares name is Isaac. I pull up and this older man gets into my cab. My first concern is does he have money. He settles that concern by tossing a twenty dollar bill onto the front seat. This is a tactic used by very experienced cab riders from poor parts of town. They have obviously been harassed many times about whether they have any money or not, so they just spot the driver up front. Unfortunately, people going to buy drugs often use this technique. That is not what Isaac is doing.

He wants to go to the Columbia Restaurant in Ybor City for lunch. What! That has been a five star restaurant for over 35 years. The father of former Florida Governor Bob Martinez worked there as a waiter for decades. It is a venerated establishment. An excellent restaurant. They have Flamingo dancers and live Spanish music and awesome food. I wish I could afford to eat there.

What am I doing wrong?

THE CRYING GAME

I had just dropped off north of downtown Tampa on a late afternoon. It was about an hour before sunset marking the end of another beautiful winter day in Florida and the sky was beginning to get some color.

The area I was in is near a housing project, and not really a good part of town. I had no plans on sticking around. Then a call came out that I was “on top of.” So I took it.

The dispatcher gives me the bad news. I knew the address. It was a half-way house for mental patients. Not a problem. I just need to check it out and make sure they have money. So I roll on the call.

There was a lady standing out front of the place in a nice dress, makeup, high heels, and jewelry. She looked great. She looked hot actually, totally out of place for this neighborhood. She got in and I asked her were she was going. She hesitates.

“Take me to the motel.”

“Ok, but what motel?” was my obvious response.

She paused again and I looked in the rearview mirror and her eyes were welling up with tears. This is the moment when I remember one of the axioms of the taxi business that you eventually learn, if your smart. People don’t always call for a cab under ideal circumstances. Often something has gone wrong and that is why they need a cab.

Something was wrong here.

“Why are you giving me a hard time?” she says.

“I’m not lady, but there are about 500 motels in the Tampa area and we need to narrow it down a bit.

“I don’t know which motel”

“Do you have a key that might have the name on it” I ask.

She digs in her purse and finds a key ring. I notice her makeup is beginning to smear a little. She hands me the keys.

Great. It was one of those ubiquitous plastic rings with just a room number. You know, one of those places with a neon sign out front, down on the heel, seen its better days. I’m trying not to say cheap motel.

“Do you know what street its on?” I ask.

“Kennedy, I think”

“Great, I believe I can find it” There are only about five or six cheap motels on Kennedy and that narrows it down considerably.

We are on our way and the meter is running. I saw money in her purse, so we are set.

There is a point in every cab ride when the fare will either open up or ignore you entirely. The latter is very easy nowadays with cells phones. The fare can get on it and you don’t even exist. She had no phone and began to talk.

If you ever saw the show on HBO when people tell the cab driver what they would not tell their own shrink, and wondered if that were true. You are right. It is true. More than you think.

“Heather” tells me that her family had her committed to an adult crisis center for people having emotional or mental problems. She left the facility and went to a halfway house to merge back into society. She said she does not like it there, and had gone to a motel just to get away.

“Does this look like your motel.” I ask as we drive by

“No”

So we keep going. There are others up ahead.

“You look tense” She says.

She’s right. I can get tense under many situations that develop in the taxi business, that’s not unusual, especially with a beautiful woman in the cab. I try not to get tense, but there is a lot of shit to deal with out here. You have no idea.

“Can I rub your shoulders?” She ask me.

Wow. What an offer. I mean, that really doesn’t happen all the time. What I’m used to are drunks poking me in the back or arm and saying “Ya know what I mean” at the end of every sentence. This was weird, but not to weird, so I agree.

“Sure” I say.

I know what you’re thinking. I’m trying to make it with this lady, take advantage of her, take her to the cheap motel, get laid. Yes, that is what I am thinking. She is hot. She looks good, she smells good, I’m a little lonely, so why not?

We continue down Kennedy and she gives me a really good shoulder rub. I mean, really good.

She spots the motel up ahead, and I begin to pull in.

I never really get personal with fares. But in this case, a lines been crossed, so I ask her why she was put in the crisis center.

She says she wants a sex change operation and her family thinks she is insane. I was looking at her in the rearview mirror when she said that. I don’t know if it was the angle of the setting sun or what, but the beginnings of “five-o-clock shadow” was visible.

Holly shit!

Do you remember The Crying Game!

I do. Damn. That could have been me.

Talk about getting lucky!

I stuffed the bill in my shirt.

STRIPPERS INVADE TAMPA

Maybe not an invasion, more like the vanguard of an approaching army of money grubbing babes, but I have picked up 3 dancers in the last two days, and even helped one with her living accommodations (I have to be helpful to our guest).  I think it may be a little early, but Tampa will fill up and It is always good to get an early start. 

One of the ladies I picked up will be working at the Penthouse Club.  That is a first class operation that has locations in most cities where Super Bowls have been played.  They are way ahead of the curve and have even found a way to expand on a temporary basis by adding a huge tent next to it for the overflow.  Someone had told my lady, in from Las Vegas, to go to the Renaissance Hotel to live in until the big game.  Wrong.  I told her to trust me and I showed her the Extended Stay Hotel located in the same parking lot of the Penthouse Club!  How can you beat that.  It also is about $89 at night instead of the $300+ at the Renaissance.  She was very grateful, gave me a big tip and invited back later for a "free" lap dance. We traded cell phone numbers so I could be of service in the future.  Private driver and all that stuff. 

The other two dancers were from New York and I took them to the Mans Venus for a try-out.  Good luck, I told them.  I bet there will thousands of girls invading Tampa to work the clubs.  Capitalism is a great thing.

OUTRAGE!

The HCTPC has raised the renewal fee for cab driver licenses from $10 annually to $75 annually.  This is an exorbitant rate increase and comes at a time when drivers can least afford it.  Considering the corruption that exist in that agency, and their track record with misappropriation of funds from the former commissioner, and the graft of the interim commissioner Caesar Padilla, this type of extortion is risky at best.

The Public Transportation Commission regulates limousines, taxi cabs and tow trucks. Cab drivers pay a  fee to maintain their licenses.  We can understand an increase if times were  better, but they are not.  Does the commission read the newspapers?  Times are hard.  Many drivers have been foreclosed on and have fallen behind on rent.  Many, like myself are barely surviving.  My bills are unpaid, and my credit is being ruined.  Part of the problem is the after affect of Greg Cox when he was commissioner.

In an interview two years ago with Janet Zink of the St. Pete Times, I told her that Greg Cox's deregulation of this industry would have a ruinous effect.  Unlike other trades which would have a "natural equilibrium" point, the taxi industry is regulated and the amount of drivers is set by the commission.  If that number is to high, the drivers will not make any money.  In my opinion, that number was set to high by the former Commissioner, who was operating on a false belief that the community needed 1 taxi for every 2,500 residents.  That figure should be more like 3,500 residents.  

Now that the economy is bad, very bad, our call count is at historical lows and we all are struggling to make a living.  

Fortunately for me, I work for Tampa's finest cab company-United Cab.  I have been there 14 years and have always been treated with respect and dignity, despite my eccentric ways.  I have always appreciated that. United cab has done everything they can to market and maintain an excellent operation, but unfortunately, the economy is just to bad.  

A friend of mine from Ethiopia crys every day because he cannot send his wife and children any money for months.  When he calls his wife, she does not believe him and thinks he has found another women.  He does not know if he will ever be able to return to his homeland.  And now, he is being evicted from his apartment and will soon be sleeping in his cab.  There are many like him.

What HCPTC is doing is wrong. They should have waited at least a year. Why does the HCPTC need our money anyway?

The agency has boasted for years it had more than $800,000 in a "slush fund."  Ostensibly, that was for the building of new office space.  That never happened and now more than half the fund is gone according to News Channel 10.

The interim Commissioner's salary has been doubled from $50,000 to $100,000 a year while the cab drivers starve and the cabbie cops write us $25 tickets for having a shirt with no collar or a taxi in need of a car wash. 

This is an outrage!

I wish the media would expose this.

Newport 100's, Colt 45, And A Bad Day

I had difficulty opening the door to my apartment this morning.  It seems a young lady took up residency at the base of my door.  It was Valery, one of our local prostitutes who has used our cab service going back to the mid '90's.  She was passed out drunk and her things were eschew on the pavement including a pack of Newport 100's, torn open from the bottom I suppose. (She had a crack baby baby years ago, then disappeared for a couple years, probably in jail).  The only thing I could think of was that she was trying to find a "date" where I live.  The construction worker that lives next to me I think has been doing her, and maybe she came by because it was cold, or whatever. I threw a sweatshirt over her and went to work.  I did lock my door very tight.

I stopped at the DECK PIZZA in Hyde park. It stays open after hours and nothing taste better than grease at 4 in the morning.  The guy told me that he had just sold his last slice and if I waited 12 minutes, he would make a fresh pie.  Forget it, I was on a call and only wanted to pick something up.  I would be back later.

I ran the call, checked into zone 21 and hung out with Samson (Ethiopian driver) at the Marathon gas station.  After talking for about a half hour, Samson gets a strange look on his face and starts the car up to leave.  Out of the corner of my eye, I see Valery walking up and she ask Sampson for a cigarette.  I guess she woke up and was on the prowl.  Don't me wrong, I don't want any harm to come to people like her but they make their living off of small time hustling, be it cab drivers for smokes, store owners for a beer, a dollar here, a dollar there, a BJ for five bucks--whatever it takes to survive--pretty sad. 

Samson does smoke Newport 100's, but he did not give her one and drove off, so did I. I wonder what happened to the smokes that were lying next to her?

Most of the morning goes by, and I don't even get a call.  Can you believe that.  On a Saturday in January, we have no business.

Finally, I get an 11:15 time call at the Double Tree Suites.  I go inside and tell the front desk what I am here for and the girl rudely says, "Their on their way down."  How does she know?  I'm starting to get a bad feeling about this.  11:15 comes and goes and my party is not down.  I now go to the Conciser, and he calls the room.  I'm told they will be right down.  11:30 comes and goes and nobody shows up.  Finally I just fucking leave.

"Shoe" our weekend dispatcher calls me and says he has a 12:00 PM time call at the Marriott Courtyard going to Largo.  All we have is the name Mike, no room number, no cell phone number.  Of course 12:00 PM comes and goes and nobody shows up.  I still wait because it may go to Largo.  After 12:45, I just leave.  Cab drivers really hate being jerked around.

"Shoe" now sends me to Kinko's on the corner of Dale Mabry and Kennedy for a Joe.  Good, maybe this will change my luck.  Joe comes out and I notice he has nothing in his hands.  Don't most people at Kinko's have like files and folders and such?  He gets in and tells me he wants to go to the Longhorn Steak House.  I say, "Oh, you are going to go get a good stake right?"  He says, "That's none of your fucking business."  Wow!  After 14 years of cab driving, I know that when someone is combative and rude up front, it only goes downhill from there. He now says to turn on the radio, he wants to listen to some jams.  Now I think he must be on crack or Colt 45 or something.  I say no.  He says "What! You turn that damn radio on; I am paying for this ride."  "No you're not," I tell him.  I turn the meter off and tell him to get out and call another cab.  This is the part when they get out, slam the door, and yell, you "fucking asshole!"  Joe gets out, slams the door, and yells, "you fucking asshole."  Oh.  Did I mention flipping the bird.  Some things are just predictable.  We never made it out of the parking lot!

The day is almost over, and I have had only two rides.  I swing by the DECK PIZZA again to get a couple slices.  The guy tells me that he just sold his last slice but if I wait about 12 minutes, he will make a fresh pie.  Is this a bad day?  I go by a convenience store to get a couple dogs, and of course, they are sold out.

I just go home.  No Valery.  No Newport 100's.  No Colt 45's.  Just my Buddy Wiser!

Wecome To Tampa...I Think

There is four feet of snow anywhere up north, a Super Bowl around the corner, 80* weather and Tampa is a ghost town at this moment.  Why?  This is a fun place, a very fun place to come and party, play golf, go the beach, fish, boat, go to museums, theme parks, whore houses, dance clubs, massage parlors, a full casino with black jack (Hit me), theaters, art and so much to do, your head will spin. 

Why are people still up north and not down here piling in my cab.  Is it just the economy?  Are the stay-cations the current rage?  If you still have a job, why hold back?  Treat yourself to the Tampa Bay area.  I will even drive you around and show you where you can have a good time.  so if you are coming to Tampa and can pay the taxi rates, let me know.  If you are coming here for the Super Bowl, then contact me and I'll intro you to the two chicks above. (I wonder if this guy got layed...Na)

Super Bowl Information

The Super Bowl will be in Tampa on 2-1-09.  To help us in this event The Tampa Bay Super Bowl Host Committee wants to prepare taxi drivers, and other transportation professionals with an orientation session to held at Thomas Jeffersion High School.  They will provide us with driver maps, phone numbers, parking instructions and event schedules-everything we need to make moving people around Tampa Bay as efficient as possible. What is in it for us?

1. Super Bowl XLIII driver's Guide
2. Super Bowl XLIII Visitor's Guide
3. Super Bowl XLIII Hat
4. Free Meal
5. Raffle Prizes! 

Now how cool is that!

The $2.25 A Mile Idol

Enter one Tony "The Italian" cab driver.  A former man of mirth, a former believer in myths.  If he looks unhappy, there's a reason.  He's a hit and run victim who's taxi is stalled on a pavement called yesterday. He gave up looking for the tag number to the vehicle called livelihood.  Game over.  Point, set match.  His reality is as real now as the puke he cleaned up this morning or the cab beater who took off running without pay like the many other hopes and dreams once associated with a thriving industry, now just cracks in the sand caused by a relentless Florida sun beating on you without mercy until all resolve is gone.

Tony feels what  many of us do.  Its almost like hope is gone.  How long can you keep chasing the $2.25 a mile dream of a better day.  Will this economy ever get better?  Will it be in time?  In 15 days a new President takes office.  He is inheriting a mess.  Wish him well. 

I hope he does not look like Tony after his first 100 days.  If he does, it is game over.

I'M BACK!

What happened to Tim?  He has not posted since August the day the Olympics began.  I'm afraid that because of the economic slump in the US I had to make cuts, and this blog was one of them.  I thought it was lost forever, but when I went onto the Typepad.com site, I found out they were saving it for me.  How cool is that!  They also have many new features that I have to learn and I am soon going to have my Internet service back at home so I don't have to blog among all the smelly people in the Library with communicable diseases. 

Boy its good to be back!